It’s funny how I haven’t updated my blog since I’ve started working. I thought that I would have tons of time on my hands, and thus be given ample opportunity to write until my heart’s content. Funny how the mirage of adulthood is never quite what it appears.
When I was a little girl I would lay awake at night, thinking of how my life was going to end up. I would plan out my daily schedule. This is what it looked like:
5:00am Wake up, going running with my dog
6:00 Take shower & get ready
7:00 Have devotions & eat breakfast
8:00 Leave for work in my fancy business clothes and high heels
12:00 Go out to lunch at cute restaurant with my best friends
5:00pm Get home to change
6:00 Have dinner with my husband (or boyfriend) out or in
8:00 Straighten house
10:00 In bed
Seriously. I would dream all about how glamorous my life would be as an adult, and how perfect my schedule would be. How humorous this looks to me now! It looks a little too much like the life of heroine from some romantic-comedy...
During nursing school I also had an idealistic view of what being a nurse was like. However, as much as I love my job, it just doesn’t compare to my pie-in-the-sky, optimistic and typical Larissa outlook.
Being an adult simply does not compare to what I’ve always imagined it would be.
The other day I was thinking about how much I couldn’t stand politics and how thankful I am to have avoided it. But after talking to a friend I was struck, this is adulthood Larissa, everything is political in the adult world no matter where you go or what you do- because what it comes down to is everybody is out for their own good. Period. End of story.
Blah. I hate politics.
There are so many expectations that we have in life don’t we? Expecting to stay best friends with childhood friends, expecting to be married by 22 to Mr. Perfect, have a job that you love, and be treated politely and fairly. Suddenly we wake up estranged from our used-to-be best friends, married to some selfish jerk or not married at all, work in a job that sucks- or doesn’t at all seem enough, and finally realize “fair” doesn’t exist and that the humans will crawl all over you to promote themselves.
What happened?! Disney, you lied to us all.
If this is life, what’s the point? Why should we go on dredging through all this crap, working hard, not sleeping enough, and rarely having any of those “My life is so perfect” moments. But wait... there is hope.
Hope comes in the form of a Savior. So much of my life is caught up in the expectations of things that I believe will make me happy- here’s the thing; friends, a job (no matter how perfect), family, riches, things, and romance will never make me happy... all of these quench the thirst in my heart as temporarily as a celery stick satisfies a starved human.
Many times have I heard our souls being compared to a bowl, able to be filled up with things such as friends, family, etc. Only when the dish is full can we reach our soul’s true satisfaction. We try and try to fill it. But the people around us will always disappoint us. Always. As will anything else that we try to fill our souls with. What a hopeless and tiring cycle this puts us on. Again and again we are disappointed, angry, and lonely. Too many times do we lie in bed and think, is this it? This is life?!
Suddenly though the cycle is broken as Christ enters a life. Friends, family, relationships, job... doesn’t matter as much anymore... all these things have simply become overflow.
And then there is peace. Sweet rest.
If you are reading this and haven’t given your life to Christ- then you do not know the incredible peace of a fulfilled soul. If only you could grasp how much He wants to satisfy that part of your soul that nothing else touches. I want you to be able to understand what I mean when I say that all else is overflow. I want you to lay in your bed at night with a mind at complete rest and a heart at peace.
If we are friends and you don’t Christ as your Savior, then know that I am and have been praying for you as long as I have known you. I will not stop because I know what your heart needs. I know what satisfies your soul... because it has already satisfied mine.
