I love lists. Love them. I’m the girl who will make a to-do list for the day, and if I accidentally did something in addition to what was on the list, I must add it, simply to have the gratification of checking it off again. Almost every night before I go to bed, I give myself 5 minutes to make a to-do list for the next day. When I empty my mind of all my plans for the next day, it allows me to go to sleep much quicker.
Well, it’s that time of year to make my big-daddy, and grandest list of them all… my resolutions list…
For most of the years of throughout high school I commonly included losing weight, getting in shape, etc, on my list of “to-do’s” for the year…. Since I’ve grown up a bit I have stopped putting it on my list. Why? Don’t I have those same goals? Of course I do. However, I was just tired of not being able to cross it off the list- so I’m just going to start leaving it off… perhaps if some miracle happens and I end up 15lbs lighter and able to run a marathon, I will simply add it to my list just so I can cross it off… until then though… I’ve moved on to bigger and better things...
One resolution that keeps showing up on my annual list though is ‘become an avid reader.’ Now this one started in high school... I looked around at the most intelligent people around me and tried to figure out what they had in common… sure enough all of them were readers. Thus, I decided I will become one as well. It has been a slow process- but 5 years later I would like to say that I now am what you consider a “reader”. Starting with classics I have slowly developed the discipline to read, and enjoy it. This year I have changed it up a bit and placed certain requirements on what I read. Here’s what it includes:
-Read at least 35 books in total
-5 biographies
-2 history books (this is going to be the hardest to make myself do)
-2 from NY Times Best seller list
-11 classics (including, the Art of War, Don Quioxe, Moby Dick, Robinson Crusoe, Lord of the Flies, The Great Gasby, 1984, Sherlock Holmes, & Catch-22)
(If you have any suggestions of books I need to read this year, let me know!)
In addition to the above goal I have the following:
2. Become a better long-distance communicator
3. Be involved in ministry, and put my roots down in my church
4. Buy a car with cash
5. Get my BSN online
6. Travel outside the country
Well, I leave you to finish my first book of this year, which not only knocks my goal down to 34 books, but this book also qualifies for the biography category as well… in the end though- it’s all about crossing things off a list…
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
2 Years in 20 minutes
Well, I am back from my holiday break. It was wonderful to have three glorious weeks off to enjoy my family and rest.
So I’ve graduated.... It’s done. Nursing school is over....and I have three words to describe how I feel... PRAISE THE LORD! What a journey.... I figured I would give you guys the high/low-lights as I look back on the past 2 years.
....
-Buying my first pair of scrubs. I thought they were the coolest thing I had in my closet... little did I realize how terribly uncomfortable the teal polyester clothing would become... by then end my scrubs were so well worn that they had a grayish appearance...
-First day of orientation- I drove up from Orlando in the midst of my cancer treatment. I had just had my thyroid removed so I had to constantly wear something to cover my neck to prevent people from thinking I had been jumped in some back alley.
-First semester- while it was by far the easiest, I was struggling with my health as I slowly adjusted to thyroid medication. They combination of hypothyroidism and narcolepsy was miserable and left me having to walk to stay awake to study.
-First clinical day- I was so nervous. I stood outside of my patient’s room taking deep breathes... finally I managed enough courage to go in and introduce myself... all I was responsible for was a head-to-toe assessment and a bed bath, but it might as well have been rocket science... determination, prayer, and a lot of fake confidence got me through these first days at the hospital.
-Second semester- the hardest of nursing school. I still have PTSD from this semester. The brutality and degradation of my nursing professor/s was appalling. Someone described us perfectly... abused dogs- full of fear while earnestly trying to pursue favor with our instructors... all the while being kicked at every opportunity- deserved or not. This was also the semester that I had an anaphylactic reaction at school- helpless and scared I went to my nursing professors to seek medical counsel only to be scoffed at and abandoned. To make things even worse, the one nursing instructor that helped me, lost her job because of it... While I will never forget the horror I felt when I realized that no one would help me, it has been one of the things that have driven me even more in my career of nursing... that I may never become nurses like them- cold, calloused, and selfish.
-Second semester clinicals- the goal of clinical went from “show up, don’t throw up” to “Don’t get any ‘U’s’ otherwise YOU FAIL!” Every move was watch by an instructor breathing down our necks. It is a miracle that I didn’t stab myself with a needle... all the times I had to draw up a medication I was so nervous that I would make a mistake that my hands would shake terribly... On a more positive note though, it was this semester that I watched my first birth and realized I wanted to be a L&D nurse. I couldn’t imagine anything could ever be as incredible as watching a human be born, and I’ve never looked back since.
-Third semester- Mental health. Yuck. My least favorite semester. Studying all of the mental disorders had me more nervous for my own health than anything else I had studied. I would find myself praying in class, “Lord, please, please don’t let me get this disease!” Going to an observation day at Florida State Mental Institution confirmed my utter dislike of the field. I remember it was like a thiller/horror movie as I walked through and watched patient’s strange and yes, crazy, behaviors.
-Forth semester- the turning point of nursing school. Suddenly there was some respect for us measly little nursing students... material started coming together and we were able to relate disease processes to each other...
-Forth semester clinicals- I remember dreading this semester because of the doubling of paperwork required between clinical days that was due. I prayed and prayed that the Lord would help me finish everything on time before clinicals and that I could get sleep. I had no clue if my narcolepsy was going to prevent me from making it through this semester. The Lord was so good to me and despite all of the paperwork I got 8+ hours of sleep.
-Fifth semester- the light of the tunnel was clearly before us... all we had to do was make it through 3 more months. Class was spent learning fun and interesting topics like bioterrorism, and ER nursing. By far the best semester.
-Fifth semester clinicals- We started out with 3 patients and learned how to multi-task and what it meant to cluster your nursing care. Second half of clinicals we were on our own with a preceptor. I learned so much. For the first time, there was no anxiety in passing meds, there was no shaking hands in the med room, and no dread of the day. I loved the relationship that you develop with a patient that you’ve had for three days in a row... I loved how close you could get to them in those short days- and how many times by the end of your last shift, I received hugs and kisses of thanks...
Some of my favorite memories:
-Growing in my faith. Coming to terms with the fact that my life is all in God’s hands and I have no reason to fear. I’ve realized that if this is the basis for my life, no matter what happens- my life will not fall apart, for it is set on a firm cornerstone... worrying is a waste of the precious time I have on this earth.
-Studying with Monali, Angela and Carmen for countless hours. We have formed a lifelong bond that cannot be broken. Thank you ladies for all your support. We’ve done it! Remember all the times that we would study until we couldn’t think straight? We would end up in a hilarious brain fog that ended up with us laughing at the stupidest things.
-Developing relationships with many of the coffee-shop workers- they’ve probably seen me more in these two years than my own family has.
-Sending out prayer requests for each and every test. My parents and grandparents have literally prayed me through nursing school.
-Lastly, my patients- I remembered thinking at one point as I helped clean up one of the most precious patients I will ever have, “I am so honored to be here right now. Thank you God, thank you God.” Nursing can be one of the ‘grossest’ jobs as we tend to really get into our patient’s “business”... however, how could I ever do anything else? I have had the privilege of seeing someone at their most vulnerable and been entrusted to maintain their integrity. I have been able to hold the hands of grown men and women as they cry and pour out their heart to me. I have been able to go the extra mile to bathe my patient and have literally been thanked with tears for what I had done. I have helped support women as they go through labor and bring life into the world. I have been there to see tears flow down the faces of grandmothers as they see their grandson for the first time.... I have also heard a mother’s agony as she’s learned that her baby is no longer alive...I have held bereaved babies and walked them down to the morgue... Life... death... and everything in between... What a privilege and responsibility it is to be apart of it.
So I’ve graduated.... It’s done. Nursing school is over....and I have three words to describe how I feel... PRAISE THE LORD! What a journey.... I figured I would give you guys the high/low-lights as I look back on the past 2 years.
....
-Buying my first pair of scrubs. I thought they were the coolest thing I had in my closet... little did I realize how terribly uncomfortable the teal polyester clothing would become... by then end my scrubs were so well worn that they had a grayish appearance...
-First day of orientation- I drove up from Orlando in the midst of my cancer treatment. I had just had my thyroid removed so I had to constantly wear something to cover my neck to prevent people from thinking I had been jumped in some back alley.
-First semester- while it was by far the easiest, I was struggling with my health as I slowly adjusted to thyroid medication. They combination of hypothyroidism and narcolepsy was miserable and left me having to walk to stay awake to study.
-First clinical day- I was so nervous. I stood outside of my patient’s room taking deep breathes... finally I managed enough courage to go in and introduce myself... all I was responsible for was a head-to-toe assessment and a bed bath, but it might as well have been rocket science... determination, prayer, and a lot of fake confidence got me through these first days at the hospital.
-Second semester- the hardest of nursing school. I still have PTSD from this semester. The brutality and degradation of my nursing professor/s was appalling. Someone described us perfectly... abused dogs- full of fear while earnestly trying to pursue favor with our instructors... all the while being kicked at every opportunity- deserved or not. This was also the semester that I had an anaphylactic reaction at school- helpless and scared I went to my nursing professors to seek medical counsel only to be scoffed at and abandoned. To make things even worse, the one nursing instructor that helped me, lost her job because of it... While I will never forget the horror I felt when I realized that no one would help me, it has been one of the things that have driven me even more in my career of nursing... that I may never become nurses like them- cold, calloused, and selfish.
-Second semester clinicals- the goal of clinical went from “show up, don’t throw up” to “Don’t get any ‘U’s’ otherwise YOU FAIL!” Every move was watch by an instructor breathing down our necks. It is a miracle that I didn’t stab myself with a needle... all the times I had to draw up a medication I was so nervous that I would make a mistake that my hands would shake terribly... On a more positive note though, it was this semester that I watched my first birth and realized I wanted to be a L&D nurse. I couldn’t imagine anything could ever be as incredible as watching a human be born, and I’ve never looked back since.
-Third semester- Mental health. Yuck. My least favorite semester. Studying all of the mental disorders had me more nervous for my own health than anything else I had studied. I would find myself praying in class, “Lord, please, please don’t let me get this disease!” Going to an observation day at Florida State Mental Institution confirmed my utter dislike of the field. I remember it was like a thiller/horror movie as I walked through and watched patient’s strange and yes, crazy, behaviors.
-Forth semester- the turning point of nursing school. Suddenly there was some respect for us measly little nursing students... material started coming together and we were able to relate disease processes to each other...
-Forth semester clinicals- I remember dreading this semester because of the doubling of paperwork required between clinical days that was due. I prayed and prayed that the Lord would help me finish everything on time before clinicals and that I could get sleep. I had no clue if my narcolepsy was going to prevent me from making it through this semester. The Lord was so good to me and despite all of the paperwork I got 8+ hours of sleep.
-Fifth semester- the light of the tunnel was clearly before us... all we had to do was make it through 3 more months. Class was spent learning fun and interesting topics like bioterrorism, and ER nursing. By far the best semester.
-Fifth semester clinicals- We started out with 3 patients and learned how to multi-task and what it meant to cluster your nursing care. Second half of clinicals we were on our own with a preceptor. I learned so much. For the first time, there was no anxiety in passing meds, there was no shaking hands in the med room, and no dread of the day. I loved the relationship that you develop with a patient that you’ve had for three days in a row... I loved how close you could get to them in those short days- and how many times by the end of your last shift, I received hugs and kisses of thanks...
Some of my favorite memories:
-Growing in my faith. Coming to terms with the fact that my life is all in God’s hands and I have no reason to fear. I’ve realized that if this is the basis for my life, no matter what happens- my life will not fall apart, for it is set on a firm cornerstone... worrying is a waste of the precious time I have on this earth.
-Studying with Monali, Angela and Carmen for countless hours. We have formed a lifelong bond that cannot be broken. Thank you ladies for all your support. We’ve done it! Remember all the times that we would study until we couldn’t think straight? We would end up in a hilarious brain fog that ended up with us laughing at the stupidest things.
-Developing relationships with many of the coffee-shop workers- they’ve probably seen me more in these two years than my own family has.
-Sending out prayer requests for each and every test. My parents and grandparents have literally prayed me through nursing school.
-Lastly, my patients- I remembered thinking at one point as I helped clean up one of the most precious patients I will ever have, “I am so honored to be here right now. Thank you God, thank you God.” Nursing can be one of the ‘grossest’ jobs as we tend to really get into our patient’s “business”... however, how could I ever do anything else? I have had the privilege of seeing someone at their most vulnerable and been entrusted to maintain their integrity. I have been able to hold the hands of grown men and women as they cry and pour out their heart to me. I have been able to go the extra mile to bathe my patient and have literally been thanked with tears for what I had done. I have helped support women as they go through labor and bring life into the world. I have been there to see tears flow down the faces of grandmothers as they see their grandson for the first time.... I have also heard a mother’s agony as she’s learned that her baby is no longer alive...I have held bereaved babies and walked them down to the morgue... Life... death... and everything in between... What a privilege and responsibility it is to be apart of it.
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